The Other Side
by lossofmerlin
Summary: Merlin attempts to contact Arthur with the Horn of Cathbhadh at the Great Stones of Nemeton and ends up botching things up even worse than the time Arthur went there to visit his father.
1. Part 1

Merlin needed to do something to end this. To rid himself of all his guilt and pain. He needed to see Arthur! And he knew how to do it. He had watched Arthur use the Horn of Cathbhadh when he was stricken with the same grief over his father. But Merlin would not do things in the same way that Arthur had! He hurried to ready himself for his journey.

He rode hard the whole way until he reached the Great Stones of Nemeton where he would be able to contact Arthur. He pulled out the horn and blew. A light appeared and he walked into it. Then he waited. He had no idea what to expect after this point because the last time he had not gone into the world of the dead with Arthur. He waited for what felt like a long time, with nothing but fog as far as he could see. He called for Arthur. He walked around. But no one came.

Not for a long time. Then Arthur appeared before him… and punched him in the face! Merlin stumbled backwards. "Well, hello to you too," he said as he wiped at the blood that had started to trickle from his nose.

"What the hell do you think you are doing here," Arthur demanded. "You are mere minutes away from the veil closing and you being trapped here forever!"

"Maybe you should have come sooner then," Merlin said defiantly.

"Maybe I didn't want to see you after I saw you in bed this morning with my wife!"

"_Ex_-wife," Merlin felt the need to point out. "And I think you might have gotten the wrong idea about that…"

Arthur didn't care to hear anything more. He yelled out and rushed towards Merlin. Merlin simply held up his hand which threw Arthur backwards with a blast of magic. Arthur stood and rushed at Merlin again, which resulted with him back on the ground. He stood and glared at Merlin.

"This is stupid," Arthur said. "It doesn't really matter. You have to go _now_, or you won't be able to."

Merlin stood his ground. Tears welled in his eyes. He had a resolved look on his face.

Realization dawned on Arthur. "You weren't planning on leaving," he said slowly.

Merlin didn't answer.

Arthur strode up to stand beside him. "Of all the _stupidest_ things you have ever done that is by far the stupidest I have heard yet!"

Merlin's face contorted with pain.

"Merlin… you have to go back. You know you have to go back." Arthur reached out and jerked Merlin into a hug. Merlin let out a sob. Arthur pulled away to look him dead in the face. His hands clasped Merlin's shoulders painfully to illustrate his words. "You need to go. _Now._"

Merlin knew he was right. He nodded his head in defeat. Arthur shoved him a little to start him walking towards the way back. Merlin walked slowly. His feet felt like they were ten times too big for his body. He looked back to say… he wasn't quite sure what? He wanted to say something profound.

Arthur looked angry. He threw his hands onto his head and started to yell at Merlin. "Why did you look back!? You know what happened with my father! What were you thinking?!"

Merlin began to yell also. "Perhaps I wasn't thinking! It has been really hard without you these past few months! I just wanted to come and see you and then you ignore me until the very last moments! Maybe I am feeling a little sad!" Merlin wanted to say more but something out of the corner of his eye stopped the words on his tongue. All he had been able to see this whole time had been the dull fog and a light shining from the way he had entered. But the fog had started to clear and he could see himself, lying on the ground. "Arthur…"

Arthur turned to see what he was staring at. "Oh no. Merlin, quick…" But even as Arthur said the words and turned back towards light, he knew it was too late. All he saw were the surrounding valleys and the great stones. The fog was gone. Everything was back to normal. At least as normal as it could be for a dead man. "Merlin, I am so sorry…"

As much as he had been contemplating death only minutes ago, Merlin was not pleased to find that he had gotten his wish. Then something very strange happened. His lifeless body that lay on the ground began to move. "Arthur, look! What's happening?"

Arthur shook his head. "I don't know."

The Merlin that lay on the ground, stood and dusted off his clothes. Then he yelled out a single word, "Aithusa!"

The Merlin beside Arthur gasped.

"What does that mean," Arthur asked.

Merlin remained silent as he tried to process what he had seen. Before he had a chance to reply a white dragon landed beside the other Merlin, and that Merlin stroked the dragon's neck fondly before climbing on it's back and flying off.

"Oh no, this is bad," Merlin said. "There is only one other person I know of who knows about that dragon. Who _loves_ that dragon. Morgana."


	2. Part 2

The sun shone down brightly upon the green grass and the stones that surrounded Merlin. He turned slowly in a circle. He couldn't believe that he was dead when everything around him was so alive. Merlin's gaze finally settled on Arthur. He looked angry. Merlin thought he should say something to try and lighten the mood.

"Why would you do this," Arthur demanded.

_So much for that_, Merlin thought. "I missed you."

"So suck it up Merlin! The kingdom needed you. _I _needed you, to be there for Camelot."

"I know. I feel terrible."

Arthur was silent. He was still glaring at Merlin. He seemed like there was something else he was holding back. "Why were you embracing my wife in bed," he said at last. Arthur knew there would surely be a logical explanation and then he would look foolish but he didn't care. He needed answers.

"That's what's on your mind?" Merlin gulped. How Arthur had even seen them was what he wanted to know. Had Arthur been watching everything since he died? Merlin dared not voice his thoughts now. "Well, we were both missing you," he began. "We were just talking… about you. Then we took comfort in one another. It was only for a moment and it will never happen again," Merlin vowed.

Arthur was not satisfied. A deep fear had started to grow in his heart. "That can't have been all. Would you have taken comfort with Cook if she had been there instead?"

Merlin shuddered at the thought. "I guess, for me at least, Gwen feels like a piece of you still left in the world. That makes me feel closer to her than any other woman."

"I love her Merlin."

"I know! I would never intentionally do anything to hurt you. That's why I left Camelot. I didn't want to betray you! I felt like I had _already _betrayed you. I felt lost."

Arthur didn't want to believe that there was anything more to this than Merlin had said. He knew Merlin would never allow himself to care for Guinevere as more than a friend but he had to hear that from Merlin himself. "You have feelings for Guinevere. Admit it Merlin, I can see that it's true," Arthur accused, even as he hoped more than anything that it weren't true.

"No."

Arthur stared him down. Merlin was saying one thing but his face was saying another.

Merlin felt conflicted. How could he admit to Arthur that he _did _feel something for Gwen? "I'm sorry! I don't know how it happened. I know it isn't real. And it doesn't matter now anyway, does it?"

Arthur couldn't breathe. He wondered if he was cursed to be forever betrayed by those he loved. He shook his head in disgust at Merlin. "I don't know why we are wasting time on this," he said in a flat tone. "If what you said is true, then Morgana has taken over your body and we should be following her to see what she is up to. We need to find a way to warn Gwen. Perhaps if she blew the horn, it might work the same way as it did on my father and send Morgana back to the land of the dead."

Merlin looked at Arthur with a broken expression. "Arthur…"

"No! I can't hear any more right now. We need to get moving."


	3. Part 3

Arthur and Merlin had been walking for hours. Merlin was fascinated that his feet weren't the slightest bit sore. Arthur still refused to talk to him which left Merlin alone with his thoughts. He wondered if Arthur would ever forgive him. He wondered if they would be able to stop Morgana. Would there ever be a way for him to get back into his body? What about Arthur? Surely there must be a way since he was the Once and Future King. How were they going to do anything when they couldn't even communicate with those still living? At the moment what Merlin was most wondering he shared aloud, "Are we going to walk the whole way back to Camelot?"

Arthur stopped walking and turned to face Merlin. Merlin took a mental note that he didn't look angry anymore which should have felt like a good thing, except his current expression seemed worse. He looked betrayed. "Did you have a better suggestion?"

Merlin shuffled his feet. He hesitated before responding. "Magic."

Arthur's eyes hardened. His face became a cold mask. "Out of the question."

Merlin lost his footing for a brief moment and stepped back a pace.

After Arthur had died Merlin had spent a lot of time remembering their last days together. He remembered Arthur's expression when he had told him that he wouldn't be joining him at Camlann. Arthur had looked _truly_ disappointed in Merlin for the first time.

When he had first confessed his secret to Arthur, Arthur had been a bit terrified then. Merlin chuckled at times remembering _that_ expression and mused that he would have to tease Arthur about it one day when he saw him again.

Along their last journey together to Avalon lake, there had been more looks of disappointment and mistrust. But then had come admiration and acceptance.

The reaction that Arthur had just given shook Merlin to his core. He had never seen that look directed at him and he never wanted to again. He swallowed and searched for the right words to say. "Arthur?" Was all he could manage.

Arthur didn't like how he had been making Merlin feel but he couldn't help it. He was angry and sad. He could not stop thinking about Merlin holding the woman he loved. To know Merlin felt something for her just seemed too much to accept.

But he had just watched as fear crept across Merlin's face and his heart softened a little.

Merlin cleared his throat, not because it was necessary, but out of habit because had he still been alive his throat _would_ have been dry at a time like this. "Arthur," he began again. "Why would you say that?"

Arthur couldn't take that expression and knowing he was the cause any longer. "I don't know Merlin," he said tiredly.

"Do you hate me?" Merlin's voice was guarded.

"No, _Merlin_. Of course not." Merlin didn't look like he believed him. "I'm... hurt," Arthur continued. "I just need time." Arthur was glad to see hope cross his friend's features.

"OK."

They stood in silence. Arthur rolled his eyes towards the sky and gave a sigh. "What sort of magic did you have in mind?"

Merlin hesitated a moment further before he let relief wash over him. When he started to think of his magic he couldn't help but feel excited, which came out in his tone. "Well... I was thinking some form of teleportation spell."

Arthur's eyebrow raised. "Do you know a spell like that?" The way Merlin had said 'some form' had given Arthur cause to be skeptical.

"Not exactly. But it shouldn't be too hard," Merlin hurried to add.

"Fine."

Merlin forced down a smile and nodded. He closed his eyes and searched for the right magic. He found a spell he thought might work. He opened his eyes so he could see Arthur's expression when he spoke the ancient words.

He had expected awe. Maybe even a little misguided fear. But Arthur simply looked bored. This distracted Merlin so it took him a moment to realize nothing had happened. "I must have said it wrong." He tried again which led to the same result. A disturbing thought entered his mind. He held out his hand to push Arthur back a step with his magic. _Perhaps that would wipe that bored, annoyed look off his face_, Merlin thought. But nothing happened.

Arthur was about to tell Merlin that they were wasting time.

"I can't use magic," Merlin spoke softly.


End file.
